lifes confusing
by mIsS sHoWjUmPeR
Summary: sent away to oklahoma because of problems demi finds her self. it could be the best thing that ever happened to her... or could it? UPDATED!so if you review..i would love you for forever
1. Default Chapter

**Ch.1 **

**This is probably really stupid...but I have no life so I'm writing it anyway...r&r plz...xOx**

I've never really been a really good kid. I guess you could say that I never fit into the behavioral aspect of my social class. I actually wasn't even in a social class so to speak, but most people said I was and I was too lazy to argue. My situation I guess was just...there. I lived in an average house with and average family and an average life. It was so unbearably boring, that I just had to do something to 'liven things up.' So I got into trouble; nothing much but I did. I would occasionally come home high or drunk, and my parents would flip. Or I'd pick a fight and get myself grounded for forever, which made things even worse because originally not having anything to do and then getting grounded on top of that really didn't make up for a happy kid. And I wasn't. I hated my situation, my life, me.

You could say that I was high strung to start, always running around, never able to sit still to save my life and extremely temperamental. I got mad as a hornet at the drop of a hat, and was so stubborn, that I don't know how people put up with me. My patience was minimal, I never gave up on my opinion, and never thought before I did anything. I ran around, scattered, and completely, I guess you could say, wild for my first year of highschool. My sophomore year was going no better. I hated school period, and high school was utterly out of the question. It wasn't that I was dumb, I just couldn't stand people telling me what to do...then actually having to do it. I was what people and physiologists called a problem child and thought that they could cure me by having me tell what I was feeling, and what was on my mind. My parents took me to this old guy and he tried to have me do just that. Only because I had gotten mad at this damn bitch in my class and she and I almost had an all out brawl...in the classroom. She started it, I finished it, she cried, I fumed. But of course it was all my fault (according to my parents.) and with my rep, I was the one in trouble. Like I said, I have a temper and I ain't afraid to use it. I sat in the stiff hard chair in his musty office, staring at the ceiling and fidgeting. My dad scowled at me and the old dude rattled on and on about what was wrong with me. I sassed back at him a few times and he just took notes. My dad's face went from pink to scarlet. I twisted my hair around on my finger and nibbled on my finger nail until it hurt. It's a habit I have when I'm bored. It drives my dad nuts...(as do a million other things about me...) My mom...she ain't as bad. I can see she's more hurt than anything else but she sure doesn't act like it. She's the quiet one. My dad, he yells, screams and will slam you if you grate his nerves enough. He has a temper to match mine. Either way I don't like it but between the both of them, I can't figure out which way is worse. I sassed him a little too When my parents finally dragged me out of the damn place I was furious. Unfortunately so were they.

"Demelia, we have absolutely and utterly had it with you!" I cringed at the sound of my real name. I hated it. It sounded so...grandma-ish. And they never used my real name, unless they were really mad at me. I mean really ground you for the rest of the year mad. They'd do it too. My dad opened the back door of our ancient Chevy and almost shoved me in. I scowled at him. "My name's Demi," I told him curtly. He just glared back and clenched his fist. "No it ain't young lady, and you better clean up you act or else what's coming next wil-" My mother grabbed his arm, motioned for him to be quiet and didn't even look at me. She slammed the door shut and went around to get in herself. I stared out the window and watched the boring New Jersey landscape go by. I ain't kidding, this place is enough to put a saint to sleep. I slouched down on the cracked leather seat and yawned. My parents were softly whispering to each other, occasionally glancing back at me. I rolled my eyes. This was so retarded. They were probably going to try some other way to break me in and think it would work. Well I had news for them...it wouldn't. They pulled down our block and I groaned. I hated this place...it was so dull. Even the homes looked bored. They were all exactly the same with the exception of different coats of paint. I wished that we lived in the city. If there were more 15 year olds around, that life would be grand...unfortunately, every single house on the block was occupied by a just married couple or one with 2 years olds, running around in their diapers. Not too thrilling for me I might add.

I trudged inside, slamming the door behind me. In my room I stared out the window and had a hard time not crying. I didn't like the way I was, my attitude, no one liking me. I tried not to be the way I was but it was just so hard. The one thing I couldn't stand though over everything else was...it was really retarded, but not having a boyfriend was killing me. I don't mean like some one who loves you and thinks you smell good and are pretty. I'm talking about some one who's like a big brother...who would listen to you and really care what you were saying..not just listening so he could take advantage of you later. This was what was killing me. Them hating me because their girlfriends had a problem with me. None of them dare talked to me, and I didn't even bother going to dances because I would hurt someone if I did. I fell back on my bed and let the tears fall. I really didn't like life and how sometimes it was so confusing that it made you sick to think about it. So there I sat on my bed in my tiny, cramped room crying myself into a subtle stupor. I could take anything that my parents were going to delve out, because I really didn't care anymore. Anything would be better than this...anything. I slowly got up and trudged down to dinner.

Some say physical pain is worse than emotional...who ever believes that is a fucking idiot.

"What?" My mother nodded at me and my father stared at his mashed potatoes. I placed my fork down and asked again. "We're not changing our minds kiddo. You need a serious change and until that happens we don't want you here." I though I was going to faint. This was perfect. Well, almost. "You cousin Jim, down in Oklahoma has agreed to take you for a few months. He ain't the richest guy in the world so it's a bit of a sacrifice for him. And he ain't doin' it for free. You are going to work your tail off down there, doin' whatever he says. And if you give him any grief..." Great. I get to go live in hick-ville and work for some old relative that I've never met before. "What about school?" I asked cautiously. "Going to one down there too." That wasn't thrilling me too much either. "When do I go?" I didn't like this idea, but the thought of getting out of my house for a while wasn't bad either. "Day after tomorrow."

**ha ha ..you can all probably see where this is going...but w/e lol... see you at the next chappie.**

**O yea..(how could I forget..) Pleze review ur little tails off...lol jk...thanx**

**xOx**


	2. ch2

**Ch.2 **

**whoop whoop here's number 2...yay...**

I jammed all of my stuff into an old battered duffel bag that night. Basically, old t-shirts, jeans, and sneakers. I wasn't one to dress up real nice either. I had some pretty nice clothes but I chose not to wear them. But there was one thing, that I did have and I wasn't leaving it here, that was really pretty. Like I said, I really wasn't into things like this, but I loved this one dress to death. It was my only one, as a matter of fact, bright red, and silky. It ended just below my knee in a ruffle and was sleeveless. It was plain, but looked kinda nice on me. I made sure the door to my room was locked and I tried it on, just to make sure it fit. I looked myself over in the mirror. My raven colored hair was pretty long and horribly thick. I couldn't do anything with it. My eyes were a bright green and were honestly too big for my face. They made me look scared. But hell, maybe I was. I was going to live with some strange dude and a new state and everything. I was scared but I would never admit it to anyone. I pulled the dress off and placed it under all of my other stuff. Who knows, maybe I would get a chance to use it there.

I heard a sharp knock on my door and my dad yelled that we had to leave in an hour. I didn't respond, just went on cramming the rest of my things into that bag. I grabbed a picture of me and my parents from when I was nine. We were sitting on the stoop and I was all smiles. I don't know what happened to me. I didn't want to take the picture and turned it face down on my dresser. I picked up my bag slowly, took a last glance around my room, at the light tan walls, the crack in the ceiling that looked like a fish, sighed, and left, closing a locked door behind me.

At the airport, we waited for about 45 minutes for my flight. It was 45 minutes of awkward silence and staring at the business of the port. I heard my gate number and a shiver ran down my spine. I couldn't tell if it was fear or excitement. Probably fear. I was scared and my parents knew it. I trudged to my flight with my parents on my heels and once I reached the gate, turned to face them. My father had his hands jammed in his pockets and was blankly staring at me with his cold gray eyes. No emotion or anything. I made up that second in my mind: I hate him. My mother looked like she was about to cry. "Well, I guess this is good bye," she said, her voice cracking. I want to turn back, say I was sorry, try again but people say that there are times that things go to far to go back; this was one of them. I blinked away my tears and hugged her as hard as I could. "I love you," she whispered. I backed up, and without so much as a backward glance, I spun on my heel and raced for my gate.

I sunk down exhausted into the uncomfortable plastic window seat assigned to me and stared out the window. I was numb. No better way to be though. I couldn't help but be a little exhilarated by the take off and the view. When you're like me, excitement of any kind was welcome. I felt my self smile and was almost startled. I had forgotten how it felt to be happy. Weird. I was still scared but felt a raging defiance coming on too as I drifted off to sleep. I was ready to fend for myself now and could take anything that would be thrown my way. Or so I thought.

**Short one... r&r...this is a start...I have to think about where I'm goin with this...;)...any ideas? Share em**


	3. Chapter 3

**Ch.3**

I woke to the sound of pounding rain and the radios going off in the plane. I rubbed my eyes and glanced out the window. All I could see was the lights of some city and steam mixed with dust coming off of the ground, creating an eerie haze. The rain was torrential and I hoped that who ever was going to pick me up would be on time. I didn't want to get stuck at the airport alone.

Just my luck. No one was there. I sat on the cold metal bench and watched the small crowd diminish. It wasn't a very big airport and I was soon one of the only ones there. It was about 6 pm. I glanced around at the bright blue walls around me and the shiny counter in front of me. I groaned, as a security guard started staring at me strangely. "You lost kid?" he asked with a weird accent. I shook my head and he shrugged but didn't take his eyes off me. I finally got up and walked out of there. That guy was scaring me. I dug through my pockets and found the slip of paper with my cousin's address and glared at it. I looked though towards the soaked world outside the airport and wondered if going by myself was the greatest idea in the world. The dust had subsided and it was just gray and wet. I grabbed my bag, pulled up the hood on my sweatshirt and braced myself for the wet, cold blast I knew was coming. I shoved the door open and plunged into the rain. I had no idea where I was going and I was frozen. I trudged forward, glancing up at street signs. The roads was almost no one on the road, except for an occasional Mustang or ancient Cadillac. I looked at the paper but the rain had made it bleed. I threw it down. I at least had remembered the street name.

About 10 minutes later I was ready to cry. I was drenched, frozen and lost. I stopped at a corner and crossed the street. I felt the tears slide down my cheeks and didn't stop them. I was alone, no one cared, I would have to spend the night outside tonight...but what did I care? Did I care. I just didn't know anymore.

A blast from a car horn and bright lights brought me back into the real world. I turned and saw an old chevy racing towards me, but try as I might I couldn't move. Dazed I just stared at the oncoming car as its brakes screamed. It stopped about a foot away from me and I guess that's when I finally snapped out of my daze. I screamed, jumped back and felt my whole body start to shake. "Damnit kid! Glory, why the hell didn't ya move!" A tall blonde boy jumped out of the car and was storming towards me. I shoved a wet piece of hair out of me eyes and for once in my life I didn't have a smart remark to say. I bit my lip to keep from crying. I was so tired and I knew that I better keep my mouth shut or I'd say something stupid. This guy didn't look like he was in the mood to be messed with. I didn't feel so tough anymore. I was cold, wet, and hungry and wanted to go home.

"Blast it, ya just stood there staring. What the hell is wrong with you? Damn!" His light blue eyes bore into me. He sighed and backed up, cringing against the rain. "Sure glad I didn't though, I ain't lookin' for a court case on my hands because of a damn broad." He had the same accent that the security guard did. I nodded. "What the hellsa girl like you doin' out in this weather anyway?"

I put my cold attitude on again. I was no softy. "I'm from Jersey, I'm here to see my cousin, my flight came in late and there was no one there to pick me up so I decided to walk." He was already halfway back in his car. "Couldn't you have waited to get in the car before giving me a novel?" he asked. In the car with him? No way. There was something about his hard look, set jaw, that scared me. He glared at me from behind the window as I walked to the side of the car. He scowled and motioned for me to get in. I frowned right back. He rolled his eyes and looked like he was going to drag me in. The pain in my stomach reminded me that I hadn't eaten since last night. I slouched and got in the back seat regretfully.

"You don't sound like you're from around here kid. Where ya from?" he asked me. "Jersey," I mumbled. I had already told him that but he hadn't noticed. "Where ya headed?" I told him the address...his facial expression changed from angry to an easy going one. "You need to be careful around these parts dressed like you are. You're lucky you didn't get jumped."

Jumped? Ok then...he looked like the kind of kid to jump someone...and here he is warning me about being jumped. "They wouldn't hurt you or nothin', just rob you. Some greasers don't have too much and they like to get their hands on chick's like you, for stuff, so they can give it to their broads." I sighed. "You're lucky I picked you up, I know just where you're goin' and I know the people pretty well too." My uncle was friends with a kid like this?

"You do? This is a dumb question...but is my uncle a decent guy? I mean I don't want to get stuck with some bastard for the year..." He stared at me from the corner of the rear view mirror and looked disoriented.

"Was. He was one of the best guys you could hope to meet. Strict, but a good guy. Honest as anything. His wife was amazing. She could make anyone smile. Even me." He smirked at his own comment. "The only ones left are their three kids :Darrel, Sodapop and Ponyboy." Darry, about 20. I don't think that your parents realized that you're uncle is dead. Or they just wanted to get rid of you so they sent you anyways. Oh, by the way I'm Dallas Winston." He turned into a small, littered driveway. The house next to it was small and white. There was a single light bulb hanging from the lowly porch.

"Well, we're here." I got out and dragged my soggy bag out into the rain after me. I ducked as we both ran the few feet to the porch. "Hey DARRY!" Dally yelled into the house. The next thing I knew I was greeted by a barrage of boys and that made me a little nervous. I wasn't good around boys. I always got nervous and antsy and... "Hey, I'm Darry and this is Sodapop, Ponyboy, Johnny, Two-bit, Steve, and it looks like you already met good ole' Dally. What's your name again? Your dad told me but I kinda forgot." He had that weird accent.

"I'm Demi. Its just a nick name but that's what I'm called." I was then shoved into the house by an impatient Dallas Winston who was tired of standing out on the cold porch. Some one grabbed my bag and some one grabbed my arm and I was pulled down the hall.

"This can be your room for now. Pony and Sodapop sleep over there. There should be any problems with you in here so just make yourself comfortable." I heard a snicker from the door way. "Y'all is cousins so Darry's right. No trouble at all." I felt my face flush as I glanced over at the red-headed kid in the doorway. "

"Don't mind Two-bit. He's the biggest idiot you'll ever meet. All he does is blab. I'll leave you to get settled and then we'll get a bite to eat."

The big ripped kid stepped out of the tiny room and closed the door behind him. I got my stuff out of my bag and into a tiny bureau in a matter of two minutes. I flopped onto the creaky bed and stared at the ceiling. This was going to be different. Living with a bunch of boys my age. Who knows, this trip could be better than I thought. For the first time in ages I looked in the modest mirror on the wall and attempted to fix my hair. Key word here: attempted. I sighed and went out to the noisy living room cautiously.

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	4. Chapter 4

**Ch. 4 **

**Not gonna do a disclaimer because the world knows who the Outsiders belong to. Hope you all like...I rewrote this like 3 times cuz I didn't like the other two..haahhahaa..thanx for the reviews and keep em coming..I do love you all for forever you know...**

Dinner was interesting. I had to answer about a million questions and eat at the same time. Somehow I managed. I was grateful to sleep because my trip was long and I was exhausted. I thought about everyone I had met in my head before drifting off. That Sodapop was one looker. Too bad he was related to me. Ponyboy was cute, he seemed like the kind of kid your could really talk to. Two-bit was a moron. He was funny, but I didn't really like him. I love Darry though. He was like a cool big brother. I always wanted one. Johnny was sweet. Kinda shy, but once he knew you, he was always there. Steve was alright too, even though he acted like he was too cool for me. And then there was Dally. I didn't know about him. He reminded me of myself a little. Kinda seemed sad and confused and angry. I couldn't look at him for too long either. I dunno. Just something about the way his hair fell across his face and those cold blue eyes that made me all funny inside. He must think I'm a total loser... me almost getting hit by his car, my way of... I caught myself in mid-thought. I barely knew this kid and already I was day-dreaming about him. I groaned, stuck my head under my pillow and tried to sleep.

The days went by faster than I thought they would as they turned into weeks then months. I grew to love this group of boys and I think they liked me a lot too. In school I hung out with Pony and we became really good friends. I was right when I said I could talk to him about almost anything. Two-bit and I eventually grew to like each other when he decided that making fun of me wasn't amusing after all. Sodapop and Darry were like my heroes. They were always there and loved me just like the big brothers of my dreams. Those two were the best kids in the world and I adored them both.

Then there was Johnny. Thing were different around him. I found myself different around him.. I was nicer and more like what I wanted to be like. There was something about him that brought out the best in people. His quiet voice was nice to listen to and with all of his problems at home, he was glad to have someone to talk to. He and Pony were like my own little diaries. We told each other anything and everything. I had never had a best friend before, and let me tell you, having two had to be better than one.

Dally. I knew it would happen. I had the biggest crush on him. I think everyone else knew it but him. When ever I would sit next to him to watch TV, there were always comments flying back and forth from the other guys. I would always turn red but Dally didn't seem to notice. That drove me absolutely crazy. I looked up to Dally. He was brave and didn't care what anybody thought. I pretended I didn't care for him but inside I knew I was lying to myself. I adored him and it was getting harder and harder to hide.

So life went on and I went on really liking Dally till I thought I would die if he didn't like me back. He would never though and I knew it. I was an ass to him and he was the same way to me. I wanted to be nice to him, but hell, being nice to Dallas Winston is like trying to grow flowers in the winter. If he were friendlier, then maybe things would be different. But I was Demi and he was Dallas and I knew that he would never like me back, even if he wanted to. I knew I was just being a stupid girl but I couldn't help myself. He was the first boy I ever really liked. Ponyboy noticed too.

We were walking home to school on a chilly Friday morning when he randomly asks me when Dally and I are gonna start going out. I stopped walking and stared at him "Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?" I snapped at him

He grinned. "It is obvious that you adore him even though you fight all the time. I think its pretty funny with you bein' afraid of that whole boyfriend and girlfriend thing. He's also not some one I'm wonderfully fond of and my cousin being crazy about him is hilarious. I mean of all people, Dallas Winston?"

I glared at him and he laughed. "You don't scare me," he said. "You think your really tuff huh? Until you met this kid you like and then your terrified of what he thinks and you become timid. Nice way to be."

I sighed. The stupid kid was right. He always was. That's just the way Ponyboy Curtis was and I guess will always be. It drives me mad. I loved Pony to death, but sometimes, he could really be a pain in the ass.

"You don't have to worry about nothin though. Dally ain't going no where. You two got time to get to know each other better." he told me.

"What do you mean you two? He doesn't care. I'm just one of the gang to him. He cares about me just as much as he does about you or Johnny. I'm just another one of the gang to him."

Ponyboy turned and looked at me. "Johnny is the only thing that Dallas loves. Think about that one. You better hurry or you're gonna be late again." He ran off and I didn't bother to go catch him. I actually listened and thought about what he said. I didn't care if I was late.

I strolled into biology around 20 minutes after the bell rang. The teacher glanced up from his notes at me. "Detention, 30 minutes after school, right here Miss Demelia. Be there." I rolled my eyes and trudged to my rickety desk in the back of the small classroom. The bright Oklahoma sun bore through the thin shades over the windows and it made me squint. And like any typical girl bored in a class, I daydreamed about Dally. I guess I wasn't as different as I thought I was. I glanced absently around the classroom, every one either was taking notes or had their hand raised. I didn't pay much attention to them. I had other things on my mind...

"How about you, Demelia?" I stared blankly at the old man peering at me over thick rimmed glasses.

"Dallas," I mumbled.

"Dallas? I'm not asking for state capitals. I asked you what the role of the nucleus is."

That made me smirk, state capitals... "It's the brain of the cell." He looked at me suspiciously. I put my head down on the desk. I heard him step away and I fell back into my thoughts. It took forever for the bell to ring, and I escaped as fast as I could out of that classroom when it did.

"Detention today, Demelia! Don't forget!"

I ignored the stupid guy. As far as I was concerned, he needed a life. I pushed my way through the crowded hallways to my next class. And the next and the next. Finally lunch came. I found Ponyboy in the cafeteria line and dragged him over to our usual table near the windows.

"Woah, what's with you today?" he asked as a few other kids sat around us.

"Got a detention in bio, kicked out of class in english and now I have a test in history next period that I didn't know about. I ain't gonna get home until 4:00 and that's when Dally said he would take me over to the track so I could watch the ponies run."

He almost laughed, then stopped himself. "That really sucks Dem, I'm really sorry," That was all he managed to get out with a straight face.

"Yea today really does suck. And now it just got worse cause I gotta deal with you," I growled at him.

He just grinned that stupid, innocent grin that he had and his green eyes shone. He was having a blast annoying the hell out of me. "Well, I hope detention doesn't go for too long, I wouldn't want you to miss your date with Dally. That would suck major."

I felt my face flush to the color of the red shirt I was wearing. "It ain't a date you moron. I rode a lot when I was younger. I thought it might be nice to just go back to things I used to do."

He grinned. "Yea only this time it'll be better, you got Dally there too."

I was ready to kill Ponyboy Curtis. He was so...annoying.

"Look, how about you go find some chick, go flirt with her, and leave me the hell alone ok?"

"Fine with me, I hate hangin' with you when you're in a bitchy mood anyways."

He got up to throw his trash out.

"Ever consider that you're the reason for the bitchiness?" I asked him

"Nope. I didn't do anything. Just told the truth. Cya around Demi."

He disappeared in the crowd surging for the door as the bell rang. I grabbed my floppy backpack and hurried to 7th period. Only two more to go, then detention, then Dally...

**yay..end of chapter..reviewssssssssssss pleszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzeeeeeee 333**


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